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Warning: I'm an emo mole. Teehee ^-^
My eyes are tired. Tired from all the tears.Sighs. Talked to my mum 'bout what happened today.
I was so agitated, i broke down.
Then she went on to talk to me 'bout life.
I mean in life you can't always please every single person, but you don't live to please.
Screw everyone who has a problem w you 'cause it's your life. Who cares 'bout them.
They have serious issues.
I struggled, deciding whether or not to show my mum my report slip.
But i did. 'cause i wouldn't want to show it tmrw, or history will repeat.
i cried on my b'day last year. the whole night.
But putting that aside.
I told her, 'Life is hard.'
& she was so shocked that i said that. 'You're still young & you say life is hard.
That's usually what the adults say. Are you having suicidal thoughts?'
Suicidal thoughts? it seems so vague now. it's been so long since i've had that.
She asked me if i'm facing any problems. 'No.'
Before she went out, she told me, '明天是你的生日, 你一定要开心知道吗?'
I couldn't take it.
Then few mins after she went out, she called. '你一定要开心.'
I broke down. While bathing o_o .
It's been so long since i cried so hard.
My eyes were dead red & swollen.
Hope i wake up to beautiful eyes. CHEH!
It's like the agony is being released & such. idk, i just felt so sad.
Over life.
Yeah they say, 'It'll be okay in the end, because if it's not okay, it's not the end.'
Someday everything will get better.
But what if there's no someday?
As in like, how long more am I'm gna stay like this.
Life just isn't fair. You have what you don't want & you screw up what you yearn.
fucken this.
I'm a disappointment. I disappoint the people around me.
I feel guilty everytime I'm upset because people will ask me.
& despite the concerns I receive, I'm still like this.
Like wtf is wrong w me.
Sometimes I just feel like I'm never good enough.
But wtv it is, I"ll try my bestestest to enjoy tmrw.
I must be happy for tmrw.
Because 16 years ago, i survived 9 March. ●‿●
“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard.”