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Sucks to be me.
I thought having a new beginning, finally socialising is good.
And it's fine if it happened once.
But twice? Wow I'm disappointed.
Maybe being the old me isn't that bad after all.
Maybe I don't deserve to be happy.
Maybe falsing laughters and faking smiles are.
And last night was one of those times when I left house and boarded the public transport crying.
Just couldn't stop.
How terrible it feels to have to face down as you wait for your tears to stop flowing.
How you hate yourself when you suddenly remembered what happened and the cycle repeats.
“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard.”