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I miss missing you.
Like the title,
I miss missing you.
No actually,
I miss having you by my side.
Your face will appear whenever I close my eyes.
The memories will appear whenever I stare blankly.
Images of us tgt will appear whenever I sit on my seat, in class.
I was hardly paying attention in class.
But I don't mind.
I'd rather have you fill my mind than having the t'chers nags fill my mind.
& I currently hate Literature.
The days when you were absent, I thought I saw you.
My imagination or was it cause I'm missing you too much?
I tell myself not to text you.
Cause I'm afraid you might get irritated.
But everytime I receive a text, I pray it's from you.
Disappointment everytime.
I look out for 1538.
& wish that I'll receive your text.
Not 'cause I'm stubborn, & not want to accept the fact.
But cause I wanna just believe in miracles once.
I used to think,
no, I used to know,
that this year & the next,
would be the best years.
Because youre around.
But now, it seems like hell to me.
I can hear you,
I can sense you,
but I can't see you.
Everywhere I go, seems to bring back memories.
I miss your thoughtfulness & even thought you were overconcern.
But I only know what I lost after not treasuring what I had.
It is only after we broke up, did my friends tell me what they think.
I can't help but think it's all my fault that we're like this now.
I made you live in fear,
& now I'm the one.
I'm afraid that you would have someone else in mind.
Afraid that you would have someone else leaning on you.
I already planned for the this year & the next.
That we would go to prom tgt.
& ever since 3 Nov, our 2nd break up.
I came to my senses.
I wanted to treasure you.
I wanted to lie to myself that,
us drifting apart,
is a small matter,
& I shouldn't bother you about it.
I tried not to think about it.
& just when I had started to be seriously serious,
1 month later we broke up.
I replied a 2 word reply cause I wanted to respect your decision.
But, love is selfish.
&, I want us back.
I sound desperate?
Nahh.
It's cause I know that if we both give each other one last chance,
we can be incredibly amazing.
Someone used to tell me,
"You guys are the cutest couple in school." :)
Super thumbs-up.
Everyone makes mistake.
I did this super wrong mistake.
But I'm only regretting now.
I know no amount of sorries can heal all this pain.
& I know time can heal the pain.
But, I hope time won't erase the memories.
I've not tell you this before.
But on 1708101538, we played TorD.
We were s'ppose to hold hands.
You asked, if I wanna let go,
I heard you ask, If I wanna go somewhere else.
So I said yes.
People say,
you like someone to forget someone.
But you know what?
I'm not gonna like someone else.
I'm not even gonna try.
Cause I know I can't.
& I won't even dare try to forget you.
Cause I know I don't want to.
5683-170810-1538. ♥
I still love you.
“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard.”